


Sometimes, There Are No Words

by plantboycharms



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ASL, Getting Together, M/M, Mental Illness, Sign Language, hinata has anxiety, kageyama knows asl, nonverbal, sometimes he goes nonverbal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantboycharms/pseuds/plantboycharms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Hinata can't speak. <br/>But that's okay, because where words won't come, signs will do. And Kageyama is there to help him speak with his hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes, There Are No Words

**Author's Note:**

> I've only studied ASL, sorry, no JSL here. The signs come in order of how I would sign them, so the 'dialogue' is choppy. I wish I could attach videos of me signing it all, but alas.

Sometimes, Hinata couldn't speak.   
The endless well of enthusiasm and chatter and yelling and onomatopoeias wasn't endless, it seemed, and sometimes it would just run dry, leaving him wordless, lost, and alone.   
He had been this way since he could remember. Panic, or exhaustion, or sometimes nothing in particular, would set him off. Usually it didn't matter, he was out with his mother, and she would let him spend the rest of the outing in silence, chatting away, then play some music in the car on the way home so he could sit and stare out the window. 

Sometimes, however, he was out with the team, eating dinner after a match, and suddenly it would be too hard for him to even muster up the energy to say anything. He couldn't been murmur, or whisper. It was too hard. He would fade back into the noise, letting the sounds wash over him, too exhausted to let anyone know that he needed to leave. He didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want them to make him speak. He wouldn't handle it.   
*  
Kageyama had learned sign language, as a child. He never thought it would be useful, but the first time he witnessed one of Hinata's silent spells, he realized that for once, he could be useful.   
Hinata didn't know how to sign. But he would learn.   
Kageyama spent his lunch breaks and after-school breaks with Hinata in the library, or the courtyard, or outside the gym, teaching him signs that Kageyama thought would be useful.   
They started with the most useful ones, "ok" and "need go" and "fine" and "I don't know" so that Hinata could express what he needed from Kageyama. Then they moved on, and Hinata found that sign language was both useful and easy, and that he didn't want to stop learning.   
Specifically, he didn't want to stop learning from Kageyama.   
*  
Hinata would get quieter throughout the course of the dinner, slowly falling further out of the conversation, and Kageyama would put a reassuring hand on his knee. They would sit like that for a bit, until Hinata signed "can go soon?" and Kageyama would squeeze a little before announcing to the group that they needed to leave. Sugawara would smile, gentle as always, and congratulate them on their way out, while the rest of the team would either whoop or complain as they left together.   
"Thank you" Hinata would sign, breathing a little easier.   
*  
One particularly intense practice ended when Kageyama took a hard fall and twisted his knee. Hinata blamed himself and was, frankly, inconsolable. When Kageyama limped back from the showers, ace bandage around his knee and hair damp, he was still sitting on the bottom bench of the bleachers, hands in his lap and head down.   
Kageyama squatted down, looking up at Hinata, and asked "Are you going to shower?"  
Hinata slowly raised a hand and pinched his thumb, first, and second fingers together, twice.   
"No." Kageyama repeated.   
Hinata did it again.   
"Ok. Want to go now? Or should we wait a bit?" Kageyama asked.   
"Now. Go." Hinata signed.   
"Ok. My bag is still in the club room. Come with me?"   
Hinata hesitated. He raised his right hand again, in a fist, and bobbed it up and down as if nodding. Then he stood, head still down, and waited for Kageyama to stand as well. He had some difficulty, wobbling on his injured knee, and Hinata winced and looked away.   
"Hey. This wasn't your fault. Hinata." Kageyama said, noticing his reaction. "Look at me."   
He waited for Hinata to turn his head back towards him, eyes still down, and said "Not. Your. Fault." while signing along.   
Hinata signed yes again, still avoiding eye contact, and started to walk. Kageyama followed, taking long strides to catch up. He started to sign while speaking, watching the team from the corner of his eye while they watched.   
"Hinata, it's not your fault. And I don't blame you. But I'm here for you, and I will be until you're ready to talk again. Don't... Don't stress about it. It'll be ok."  
Hinata looked up, eyes timid, and signed a small "thank you" before looking down again.   
The walk home, Hinata became more animated, signing faster and more enthusiastically than before.   
"Want my house come over?" Hinata signed as they approached the split in their paths.   
"Parents ok you not talk?" Kageyama signed back, somewhat nervous about the idea of having to explain to the Hinatas that their son would just, every so often, lose his speaking.   
"Fine."   
Kageyama took a breath. "Ok."

Hinata's bed was cozy in the corner of his room, and Hinata was sitting against the wall with his legs over Kageyama's, sitting against the adjacent wall. They were facing towards each other enough to see each other, both on their phones but not doing much.   
"You ok?" Hinata would sign every so often. "Hurt?"   
"Not hurt."   
"Ice?"  
"No. Fine."  
Hinata's mouth was set in a line, but he didn't push it.   
Kageyama didn't push him.   
*  
They were at a department store, wandering around, and Hinata suddenly stopped chattering.   
"Hinata?" Kageyama asked, stopping.   
"I fine" Hinata was signing. "Sign now?"  
Kageyama tilted his head. "Yes, fine."  
The conversation continued, as if nothing had changed, until Hinata sat down on a bench, cross-legged and facing in. Kageyama, confused, sat down, facing him. 

"Ok?" Kageyama signed, concern written all over his face.   
"Yes, fine." Hinata responded, face pink. "I..." He paused, hands shaking a little. "Don't want... Say."   
"Don't want say what?"   
"You... I like." Hinata shuffled in his seat, not making eye contact. It was hard to understand him when he signed like this.   
"You like what? Not understand." Kageyama left his hand next to his head, finger pointing up, head tilted.   
"You."   
"I like? What?"   
"No. I like... You."   
Kageyama blushed. Hinata was mixing up signs again, probably.   
"Yes, us two, friends." he signed back, trying to hide his nervous smile.   
"No!" Hinata signed, staring in earnest now.   
"No?" Kageyama furrowed his brow.   
"No. Not friends. I like you." Hinata was bright red, but his eyes were shining and he didn't look away.   
Kageyama flushed bright red. "Like?" He paused, embarrassed. It was his turn to look away now. "Date like?"   
Hinata grabbed Kageyama's hands and stared into his face until Kageyama looked at him. He pulled back his hands and, without breaking eye contact, signed back "date like."

Kageyama's baffled expression was cut off all too soon by Hinata leaning forward and placing his hands on Kageyama's knees to press himself upwards, joining their lips in a brief kiss. He pulled back quickly, and by the time Kageyama opened his eyes, Hinata was seated again, looking away and scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.   
"Sorry. I kiss you. Sorry. Weird. Sorry." He signed, hands shaking and cheeks flushed.   
Kageyama waved a hand, catching Hinata's attention. He bent his right hand 90 degrees at the joint closest to his palm and slowly tapped his fingertips against the heel of his left hand.   
"Again."

**Author's Note:**

> I love these boys getting together in various different ways and in various different AUs. Can you tell?   
> Going nonverbal due to anxiety is something I'm very familiar with. I'm writing, as usual, from experience.   
> Yell at me on the tumbler dot com I'm fragile-euphoria (don't actually yell please)   
> I live off of validation leave kudos or a comment if you'd like to feed the author! Thank you for reading! love you!


End file.
